Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
my poor anus
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize