you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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