yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize