laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
