You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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