dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
