Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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