A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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