My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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