I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
