I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
