So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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