It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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