remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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