I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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