Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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