Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
