the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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