He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
