There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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