does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize