In the future we'll all be gay
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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