If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
