he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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