please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
