Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
