i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
