Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
