party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
