Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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