Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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