You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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