can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I need help removing her.
Non-Jews are for practice
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
