If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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