so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
