She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize