well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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