Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
