Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We smell like vodka and hangover
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