I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
