I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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