I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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