I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
