In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
