Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
