we have pet lesbian snakes
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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