Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There r osticjed everywhere
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
