When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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