so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize