hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
