Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
