They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
