Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
either way he was missing a nipple.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize