I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
