he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
only if we run a train.
done.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
