If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its about making memories worth repressing
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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