Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
