Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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