Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
